I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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