..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
