I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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