We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
