then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
