the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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