god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
