we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
