Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
