I look better un-naked...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
