If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
my liver is dry heaving
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
