His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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