i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
