I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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