I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
