I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
