Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
