I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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