i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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