I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
