So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
