Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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