she looked like the before picture.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
