i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
