Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
