My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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