WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just google imaged poop.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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