Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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