My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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