You just made me feel so damn special
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
