so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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