Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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