i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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