You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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