I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
