Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
