hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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