I wanna bring you to show and tell
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
