I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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