Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
