I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
