Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
