i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to make out with him forever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
