I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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