oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
