hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
