what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
