Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
