woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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