His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
