I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
