On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
