I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
