He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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