no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
